What is Retroactive Jealousy

Retroactive Jealousy

Ever find yourself feeling jealous, angry and upset about people your partner’s past?

You may be a victim of retroactive jealousy.

WHAT IS RETROACTIVE JEALOUSY?

Retroactive jealousy is a condition in which people find themselves feeling jealous, angry and upset about people their partner once dated or had sex with in the past.

It could be from past relationships, marriage and even encounters.

While the intensity is real, in actual fact it’s all happening in their mind.

Their partner loves them very much to stick around with them to the end.

That is Retroactive Jealousy Truth.

RETROACTIVE JEALOUSY HUSBAND

I am that kind of husband to my wife. I always find myself feeling jealous, angry and upset about my wife’s past relationship.

Its a vicious cycle brewing in the head. I can’t help but wonder what she did in the past with her ex-boyfriends or partners.

Did they have sex? How often did they do it? Did she “performed” better when she was with him?

Was he more romantic than me? Did he treat her better than me? I am sure he is better looking and more attractive than me.

It can go on and on throughout the day, weeks and months.

IS IT ALL REAL OR IS IT JUST ME?

The “THREAT” posed by these ex-partners are usually non-existent and are NOT REAL.

Everyone has already moved on with their life and some even got married to other people.

The retroactive jealousy sufferer often becomes obsessed with them even though in real life nothing of such is happening.

While some ponder on a particular sexual experience or a certain individual.

They are many retroactive jealousy sufferers who got themselves entangled in a vicious web of irrational thoughts and feelings.

EFFECTS OF RETROACTIVE JEALOUSY IN RELATIONSHIPS

Overwhelm by his/her mind, retroactive jealousy sufferers are faced with the feeling of anger, fear, anxiety and paranoia.

It can you make you do bizarre things like “Auditing” your partner’s mobile phone.

Checking their social media pages for traces of “cheating”.

And in extreme cases spending hours and hours “interrogating” their partner and forcing them to talk about their past.

CAN IT BE CURE YOU ASK?

Retroactive jealousy is tough to cure simply to the facts that the retroactive jealousy sufferers are haunted by the past rather than the present.

In my case, I know that these obsessive irrationals thoughts over the past events are not REAL. But I simply cannot help it – which makes it so difficult to eliminate from my mind.

To break the vicious cycle, retroactive jealousy sufferers should just simply stop thinking about it. You can’t deal with it by thinking about it more as it will only make you more insane.

If you suffer from retroactive jealousy what’s needed is a rewiring of the way you think about yourself. How you feel and be more mindful of your present. As simple as it sounds, as a retroactive jealousy sufferer myself I know its tough.

In most cases, it’s not the event from the past that haunts us, it’s actually how we react and interpret the event in the present.

And this interpretation is usually born out of a place of fear.

 

TALK TO SOMEBODY YOU TRUST OR GET PROFESSIONAL HELP

You need to work on your self-confidence. Assurance from a trusted friend or family member usually suffice.

But if you ever find yourself needing additional help, reach out to your doctor and get referrals to see a psychologist.

Psychologists role is to rehabilitate people’s life. So that they could lead a pleasant, healthy and more meaningful life.

The Psychologists will apply scientifically validated procedures to help people develop healthier, more effective habits or thinking process.

Psychotherapy has many advantages. If you want to read more about it CLICK HERE.  

If you know someone who will benefit from reading this. Do share it with them. As a victim myself , sometimes the obvious things are not that obvious and we need help even though we think we can go through it alone.

Don’t give up and just keep looking for help.

Read More Here: Bipolar Disorder, The Unheard and Misunderstood Spouse.

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